I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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