All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
