I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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