is your mom at the bar?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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