Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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