exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
