he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize