Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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