She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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