You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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