So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ladies don't puke and tell
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
