it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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