I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
