so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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