I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
