her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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