Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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