I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You're like the curious george of whores
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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