The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
