I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
