Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He did a backflip because drugs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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