Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
pray to the hookup gods
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
