Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
