Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
