just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
