I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize