This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
