So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
