Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
