he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
