he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
