apparently the secret to your success is patron
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
