Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
