I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
