after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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