He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
