turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
