no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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