What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
