Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Michael Bay diarrhea
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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