Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
