The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
