Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
