Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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