what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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