went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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