I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
