god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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