Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
