3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
