we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
