so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
