The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize