the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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