I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
