Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
