It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
