Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
