haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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