Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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