i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The air was thick with penises
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
