Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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