i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
