how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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