I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it wasn't lemon gatorade
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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